CES 2019: A Survival Guide

CES is both beautiful and frightening. You go for the tech and stay because of traffic. What happens in between is completely up to you. However, if we were to give you our two cents’ worth, here’s what we would recommend for a fun and stress-free CES.

A Kayak

The City of Lights only gets about four inches of rain per year, making it one of the driest cities in the U.S., but most of that rain comes within the first few months. While it might seem odd picking up your kayak from the luggage terminal, everyone will be offering you cash to give them a ride when you’re traversing waves similar to the ones that that hit CES last year.

Or just bring an umbrella and/or raincoat. 

A Hazmat Suit

Stepping off the plane with you will be tens of thousands of people and billions of airborne viruses and bacteria.¹ Throw in the fact that nearly 10% of people don’t wash their hands and most don’t wash their hands correctly, and suddenly CES meets all the requirements to be considered a biological hazard.

None of that will matter when you come prepared with your own hazmat suit, though. You may receive a few strange looks, but at least you won’t be walking around like a zombie from all the cold meds you need to make it through the day.

If you can’t afford a hazmat suit, some hand sanitizer might help. That, or simple hand washing. 

1-This number has not been verified. It could be trillions. We don’t know.

One Portable, Supersized Powerbank

Sure, your smartphone has a battery with enough juice to power the Mars Exploration Rover for a full day, but is it strong enough to survive CES? Probably not. Between how often you’ll be using your phone’s camera and the amount of time you’ll spend trying to connect to congested Wi-Fi and mobile networks, your phone’s battery is going to drain faster than a keg of beer at Oktoberfest.

Do yourself a favor and bring a powerbank to keep that phone charged throughout the day. Look for one that can store about 500,000 mAh and can be carted along with you.

Or, if you don’t feel like lugging around a massive powerbank, just bring a simple one to keep your phone charged.

A Stomach Pump

Unless you plan to only eat at good restaurants and/or cook your own food, at some point one of your meals is going to come from a deep fryer. It’s okay. It’s delicious and we’re not here to judge. It’s just horrible on your stomach, and you’re going to regret it at three in the morning when it comes to life and tries to burst out of your stomach.

Get ahead of the inevitable with a personal stomach pump that you can adequately operate yourself with sweaty palms while violently shaking from that second helping of nacho fries you couldn’t say no to.

You could also just bring a bottle of your favorite antacid. 

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Of course, if you’re not going—or even if you are—you can always get a head start by going here.